Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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