He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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