Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
