Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
