we have officially lost it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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