yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There r osticjed everywhere
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
