the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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