He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize