Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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