So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
