Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
