Pappa wants mamma naked
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
