Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
