I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
