Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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