wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
