Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am one with the molecules
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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