i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
