Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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