my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
