i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
