i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
