I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
