You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
