I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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