Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
