Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
