before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize