After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
