You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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