why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
