Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
