I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
