don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Girls should come with a carfax report
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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