My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
