And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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