the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
