Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
