Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
