So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
