Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
