the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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