Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
