Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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