I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
