True but thats because hes a fetus.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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