I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
