Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
