I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
