8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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