I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
