My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
