she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize