I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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