I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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