The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
