her vagine was all disorganized.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
