How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize