with your own penis?
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
