plz talk dirty to me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
