Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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