This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
