Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
