so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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