somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
