i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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